Down by the Salley Gardens
I was looking (listening) back through things I’ve listened to in the last year and was reminded I’d seen Grace Knight at the Powerhouse in Brisbane on a Friday night a bit over 6 months ago. My favourite song of the night was “Down by the Salley Gardens“, a Yeats poem put to song. I remember listening to it a bunch of times over the course of that weekend.
Down by the salley gardens my love and I did meet;
She passed the salley gardens with little snow-white feet.
She bid me take love easy, as the leaves grow on the tree;
But I, being young and foolish, with her would not agree.In a field by the river my love and I did stand,
And on my leaning shoulder she laid her snow-white hand.
She bid me take life easy, as the grass grows on the weirs;
But I was young and foolish, and now am full of tears
Something soothing about a message from Mary to take life easy? I’m not quite certain how Yeats intended the meaning, but then that’s the thing about works of art; I can imbue them with what ever meaning I want. And when you’re looking for it, you can find it everywhere.
I’m a dad to the awesome Harry and Cara, a widower, and a learner; slowly attempting a fools errand to make sense of the world, and writing about the thoughts and ideas that pop into my head along the way.
That’s a beautiful poem. I was talking to someone today about self-compassion, and how it’s so hard to be kind to yourself, even though you would be encouraging and understanding of a friend in the same situation. It’s good that Mary’s looking out for you and sent you that reminder!
Also, you’ve mentioned a few times that you wonder how you can optimise the outcomes for your kids. I understand that – I’m definitely an optimiser myself. Do you know much about attachment theory? A secure attachment between parent and child is a great predictor of positive outcomes for kids, and means that children will be able to regulate their emotions better and have good relationships. In my masters of developmental psychology, they taught us that for a secure attachment to exist between a parent and their child, that parent only needs to be appropriately and empathetically responsive 30% of the time! It’s called being a “good enough” parent, and while that doesn’t appeal to my inner perfectionist, it is very reassuring on those days when you feel like you’re not on your parenting game!
Maybe you already know lots about it, and I’m sorry for boring you if you do! If not, there’s lots of literature out – although much of it would pertain to infancy when attachments first develop.
I hope you’re having a better week and taking life easier!
Thanks for sharing Trent. I love Jordan thoughts xo
Hi Annie, thanks so much for your comments! Not boring at all. As someone who grew up largely seeing the world as black and white and seeking to apply engineering ways of thinking to most things (yes I’m an optimiser), I’ve stumbled on an increasing understanding of human psychology and behaviour a little late. Always love to learn more though. Like you’re point on being good enough too. Problem is on those down days I’ll always end up asking myself is being ‘good enough’ good enough?